This week started in a terrifying and really grounding way. We got into a car accident baby, and you were jumping around like crazy. Your dad and I panicked. I have never been so scared in my entire life. But we went to the birthing center and checked on you--and you were perfect. You made it easy to find your heartbeat, such a sweet gift--as if to say, hi mommy, I'm okay.
On Thursday, we took a Couples Birth Class and, while we were watching, I had my hand on my belly and you moved around so much it made your daddy and I cry. We love you, sweet baby. This week we've also had a pretty big growth-spurt. I may feel a little like a parade float but, boy, I wouldn't trade that for anything. As long as you're healthy. As long as you're almost here. In our baby app, you are in your final iteration, after months of looking like a little dinosaur and a mini-version of a baby, you are officially coming into your final form before you're earthside. Your skin is now opaque, you're developing tastebuds, and you're over a pound, now. I can't wait to see how you grow in the next few weeks, as we will soon be in the third trimester! Can you believe!?
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This week, you're the size of a carrot (or, maybe bigger, since you're measuring a week ahead, you overachiever).
Back when you were no more than our greatest wish, we looked for bunnies in the backyard because rabbits were a symbol of fertility. So we sought every sign like a silent prayer and whispered promises. And now you're halfway here. We went from 40 weeks away to 30 weeks away to 20 weeks and now we're counting-down the 10s. And I spend every day grateful. Every day feeling like the luckiest. Even as I walk around, feeling like a parade-float, stretching through my round ligament pain--I have gratitude for this body who is working so hard to make our baby. This week, your skin is wrinkly and translucent as we work diligently to plump you up! Your bone marrow is making blood cells and you have eyelashes and eyebrows. If you have your daddy's eyelashes, they will be impossibly long and dreamy. I can't wait to see them. We started with AFA this week, meeting the midwives and doctors who will bring you earthside and felt much more at peace. It's coming together, sweet boy. And we can't wait to meet you. We're living on a prayer, sweet boy. A prayer that brings you, our miracle, here. This week, you're the size of a banana, my little Chiquito, a bright yellow promise for this future. We finally got to see you again! You're sucking your thumb, yawning, and kicking. And, before we know it, you'll be doing all of these things earthside! Halfway is beyond exciting: The months between now and two different thens: A then where we wished for you, with such full and devastated hearts that we didn't know if the weeks that were to follow would bring us a joy beyond words or if we would never see the sunlight again. And a then where your cries are heard around the world. Where your body rests on my body; both of us, finally, whole. Here. Seeing you this week was beyond any miracle I could have every imagined: Hearing your heartbeat (151 BMP), counting ten fingers and toes, your perfect spine, your sweet little nose, catching you sleeping with one hand behind your head (just like your daddy) watching you dance around once you woke up. Oh, we love you so much already, kiddo. 2o weeks to go! Sunday's snow-storm lingers in the skinny branches of winter trees and on the white ground that surrounds us. It feels pure and promising--like a slate wiped clean. And I can't help but imagine you, six months old, in the sweater we've already collected for you, watching winter with new, pure, eyes full of promise. Sweet boy, the world is so beautiful and will be so much more beautiful, still, when you join us earthside. You're the size of a mango, your legs are longer than your arms and your body is starting to make a whole lot more sense in there. This week, you're developing more regular sleep-patterns. Yesterday, you did a lot of late-night fluttering so I'm hopeful we can get on the same sleep schedule! Sweet boy, you're using most of your energy to gain weight. I'm doing my best to help you! This week you also have start lungs on your to-do list. I can't wait to synchronize our breathing. We are a week from seeing you--and I am anxiously awaiting seeing your sweet little face. Week 18 and you're the size of a pomegranate! I've been filling my belly with seeds for weeks and now you're officially all 512 mitzvot. Holy, happy, and almost halfway-there! This week you're even more of a baby then you were last week! Your body is a mini-version of what it will be when you join us earthside! On the flipside, this week I've started getting lightheaded more frequently and am working hard to drink more water (but water tends to make me throw up...as Max Medina would say, vicious circle). We celebrated my new position this week! I'm so excited for my new role! AND, it's also thrilling that the opportunity is fully virtual and will give me more time with you, baby. With January has come this renewed sense that everything is happening. That this year will be the holiest, happiest, we've ever lived through. We can't wait to meet you, sweet boy. |
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March 2024
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