We've decided that it's summer until we're pregnant. Because Deb Talan has convinced us that summer will. And, in truth, she has been my voice of reason for so long, I don't remember a time she didn't wrap me in her words. Now, years since her songs rocked me to sleep, is no exception. We've been singing this song for months, like a prayer...the loud-quiet hymn of hope. And, while fall has always been my favorite season, I am prepared to miss it. Prepared to do whatever it takes for it to be true that Summer Will bring the promise of new life. And, therefore, the beginning of next summer will carry it forward. I will sing it until it is true. Will--will it true.
Planted under frozen snow in roses, soft and spoken low as ice that hardens things that grow are questions asked that no one knows the answers I don't think that winter can but summer will I don't think that winter can but summer will Reach for me, I wish he would passed over hands like ands and shoulds there's something here, I know it's good it grows so carefully, in glances I don't think that winter can but summer will I don't think that winter can but summer will Do you--do you know, how it feels? To feel again? To feel real again? Do you--do you feel it, too? These small seeds pushing up the ground from so far down I don't think that winter can but summer will, summer will, summer will Grief returns like fallen snow that lines the windows of my home it's guilt like a weather-bone I call on friends to warm me--warm me, inside Cuz, I don't think that winter can I don't think that winter can I don't think that winter can but summer will I don't think that winter can but summer will I don't think that winter can but summer will I don't think that winter can but summer will, summer will, summer will
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Wanting was enough
For me, it was enough To live for the hope of it all- August, Taylor Swift August is a special kind of heartache. A year ago, this month, we had our miscarriage. Such useless loss. But, this month, it was a new beginning. AUGUST 7: Met with Dr. Zimon; we think we'll do a modified natural FET cycle. Giving this body back its magic. AUGUST 8: We learned that this process will take longer than we'd hoped. I didn't handle it well. AUGUST 12: Continued into my second birth control pack. AUGUST 16: Last night of birth control (Jenna called and said we would finally be getting started). AUGUST 20: Cycle Day 1. We have been told the transfer should happen Cycle Day 21! I have officially been asked to limit caffeine and keep my HR below 140 but, if we're being honest, I've been living on-ice for quite some time now. AUGUST 22: Went in for first blood and ultrasound of Natural Modified Cycle. Start baby aspirin tonight. |
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March 2024
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